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So I got this random friend request on facebook this morning. I figured it was someone from the tagging community so I added her.



Come to find out she had commented on my cover photo asking me to add her because she is my step mother.



Except...my father isn't married. So I'm confused. She also called me Cassie which struck me as odd since my facebook page is under Cassandra and the only people that call me Cassie are the ones that I know in real life...



The other people (gaming/taggin) call me either Abstract or Harly.



I am officially confused.



...and a little creeped out as well.

I need a home remedy for my back...



I took my last Motrin last night and I have no clue how I'm going to stand for 2 hours tomorrow night without dying from pain.



I'm starting to think I did something more than a sprain or strain to my back. I can't bend over at all.

Might be the time to call the doctor.

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sahahria
20:42 Apr 25 2012

Hit me up, I have some things you can do. However... it will be better at a time you`re online. If you see me here or on FB chat me up and I`ll go over more of what I`m thinking.

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Who wants to go to class for me?



I don't know how well I'm going to do the choir aerobics today. Since I fell last week, my lower back has been giving me a lot of issues. It didn't really start until after I left the hospital.



Either that or I was so focused on the damn head problem and I didn't notice.



I've been sitting with my vibrating pillow all weekend. Don't know what I'm going to do about it. I'm also almost out of Motrin.



Yeah...I'm whining.



Good news? I have coffee. You can't go wrong with a nice cup of coffee in the morning.

Recap of this week:



I bumped my head Tuesday night. Why? A snotty 12 year old was throwing snowballs at us so I was trying to duck inside the car. I hit my head on the door frame.

I was fine until my psych class the next day. I got sick to my stomach and a massive headache.



Woke up today just fine. Get ready for school, put on a cute outfit (brand new jeans, black flats, cute hoodie). I get walking out to the bus stop and next thing I know I slipped on ice and my head was becoming friends with the pavement. I get up, walk back home to change my jeans (they got muddy >:( ) and then restart that walk. This time I walked in the road where I know they put salt down already.



I get to class, I have a small headache and I'm a bit dizzy and sore. Not even an hour into class, I'm about to throw up and I can barely keep my eyes open.



So I shoot a quick email to my English teacher telling him I'm going home because I'm pretty sure I have a concussion.



I am home all of 30 minutes before I start crying from the headache and having issues seeing. I take the bus to the hospital. I went. On my own.



After they did some tests, it was ruled that I do have a concussion and whiplash. They did a CT scan and there was no bleeding, but some slight bruising. She said that I should be fine with some rest and if I get worse, to go back into the ER.



Moral of this story? Just because the sidewalk LOOKS clear, it's not. Just walk in the damn road.



Funny part of this? They asked me if I was being abused at home or in my relationship. Why? Because I was a woman going into the hospital for a head injury alone. My reply got the nurse laughing. "Not at home, but outside. The damn sidewalk and ice double teamed my ass."



I get why they ask it, but I had to be funny about it.



So I'm all resting and stuff. I am sitting at the computer with sunglasses on to reduce the light.



I'll live, but I'm going to be more careful walking.

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Vampirewitch39
22:37 Apr 20 2012

Ouch. :(

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Just had a conference call with my doctor and the sleep doctor.



I'm allowed to return the CPAP machine. My sleep apnea is not bad enough where it would cause major problems and we are going to attempt a controlled diet instead.



The catch? I need to get my Vitamin D levels up to normal before the diet can start. I am allowed to return the machine this week though.



As long as I don't gain much more weight or start smoking, I shouldn't have any issues with the sleep apnea.



So, I'm glad that there is a plan in action for this. I would much rather treat the underlying cause of the sleep apnea than the apnea itself.



I also found some really awesome yogurt that has tons of Vit D in it. Not that I don't like yogurt, most cherry/strawberry flavors are full of dye. This one isn't. :D



I try to eat one thing of it a day. I figure that it's better than nothing.



Baby steps in the right direction.

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Nekirena
20:33 Apr 18 2012

Woohoo!



:)



Happy for ya, Abs! ♥

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So I don't know if I should be happy someone stuck up for me today or upset that someone that I thought was a friend said something crappy about me. o.O



We were going over the song that I have a solo in and after class I heard a girl tell the director that she doesn't think I deserve it.



Why?



Because my voices isn't "pretty".



That 17 year old kid that was supposed to have the solo spoke up.



"She has a beautiful voice. Just because it's a darker tone, doesn't make it less beautiful. She is a good singer and on pitch with that solo more than I ever could be."



So yes, my "unpretty" singing voice makes me undeserving of a solo. >.>



To explain the dark tone thing.

Voices and sounds all have a color to the tonality. Some sounds are really bright, like brass horns or that wailing soprano at church that needs to shush. Some sounds are dark, like..Janis Joplin or Amy Winehouse (terrible examples here).



But you get the gist. Dark colored voices aren't considered as pretty as lighter voices.



I like my voice color dammit. It makes me awesome.










I also got officially classed for my operatic voice today.



Contralto. (figured)



I needed that information for my applications and auditions.



This summer I'll be working on my 4 audition pieces. I found a nice aria by Mozart that wouldn't be too hard for me. Now to find the French, German, and English song. x_x



Bleh

So last night I went out with the family for the first time ever.

By family, I mean his three sisters, two of the brother in laws, some random friends of theirs, and us.

His parents were at home with the grandkids.



We started out at a pretty decent pace. 6 of us in the van and the others driving their own cars.



Then we start to head to the first bar. As we started to drive, this is all I could think of:





Needless to say, there were nothing but trees. To make it worse, a couple of the roads we had to take were dirt roads.



We were heading up to some bar to meet up with the others and then we were going to have a few drinks there, head to another one for a birthday round of shots, and then head to a last bar to finish out the night.



We ended up getting lost and got to the first place about 30 minutes late.



This is where my differences in drinking kicks in. Everyone orders a beer, except me. (I don't drink that shit)

I order a mojito. The bartender stared at me like I spoke some weird language or something. Thankfully Jenn spoke up and told me that most bars around here don't even know what those are (she is a bartender herself). So I kept it simple, rum and coke. I figured it was pretty hard to screw that up and would get the job done.



Two of those down and we leave. We get to the next place and I'm asked if I wanted a drink. I was good at that point. Apparently his sister Nicci doesn't understand that. Another rum and coke down.



Then we finally head out to the next place. I stopped counting drinks that I had at this point. I never actually ordered a drink for myself all night. Or paid for one at that rate.



His sisters were bound and determined to get me drunk. Took them a while, but I got to that point. I'm talking...2 hours after they crossed the threshold.



I think an hour before we left, his brother in law had the best comment. "You have been drinking harder than any of us and you are still upright and walking straight. I think you outdrank the drinkers in the family."



Yeah. x_x



I also was the only one without a hangover. I got home and started to pound back water. Took a couple of motrin and then crashed for the night. Woke up, pounded back some water and gatorade and was good to go.



Moral of this story? I had a blast with his sisters. I shot some good pool. I out drank the entire group. I also got pretty shitfaced and didn't spend a dime.



I also don't feel like I was run over by a truck in the morning.



Yay water! Magical drunken cure!

Bad sign?

I get an email, see who it's from and go "I am going to need a drink to deal with this."



Before opening the email.



Yeah. That.

So. I need good vibes.



Yesterday, Seans family that lives in Texas arrived.



I've met his sister and the kids before, but not her husband.



That changed.



About 10 minutes after he got home, we got a phone call from a child. The oldest of all the nieces and nephews called and asked when were we going to show up. Not him, we.



Crap. So we went to his parents house to be greeted with 8 children and all the parental units.



That wasn't -too- bad. We made all the kids play outside. His mother left me alone while I got attacked by the sisters. All three of them. "How is school?" "How many classes are you taking?"



Yeah. x_x



I thought that was going to be the bulk of my interaction with them.



Apparently I was wrong.



Tonight and tomorrow we are having "girls night/day out" for Nikki's birthday. (sister from Texas)



The guys are all going to have a day to themselves that will include copious amounts of alcohol.



Apparently all us girls are going to get dolled up and go to the bars. This includes getting our hair and nails done. I wasn't even asked if I wanted to go. I got told that they are coming to pick me up at 2 to get our hair and nails done. And then they will grab us at 6pm to go out.



How do I tell them that I have no interest in getting my nails "done".



I can do them myself. ._.



In short. This weekend is not going to be my idea of "fun".

8 children.



And they want to know when we are going to have one of our own?



Yeah...not for a while.



o.o



I subjected myself to torture of the family type.



First of many in the next few weeks.

Psst.



I got it back ;)



I also got a comment of "Where the hell did THAT come from?"



I also ripped my new jeans on the piano.



And!

I showed that 17 year old up. Yeah, he's a great musician, but he doesn't know shit about the technical theory.



I do.



*happy day*

"When he died, you gave up on your dream. We were there behind you every step of the way and you just gave it up. Do something about it dammit, you are damn talented."



That was something my friend, who happens to be my high school sweetheart, said to me a few years ago.



At some point, I've realized he was right.



Today, I had my solo that I worked my ass off on...yanked away from me. Why? Because she wants to showcase the people that are performance majors.



When I got into high school, I had dreams of going on and performing. These days, I just want to teach children. Music, reading, math, it doesn't matter. I want to teach children.



Because I "gave up" on that dream, I'm getting passed over for something I KNOW I deserve.



Thursday, when I walk into that class, I will prove that I deserve that solo more than some 17 year old kid that can play his way into any college for free on numerous instruments.



We get it. He's fucking talented. Guess what? I'm not half bad myself.



And if I don't get that particular solo back? I'm going to petition that I sing something by myself. If they can do it, I know I should be able to.



3 music majors in the choir, one getting shunned because they are a music education major? Fuck no. I'm going to prove myself.



Ugh.



Can you tell I'm a bit upset about this?

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Requiem
03:59 Apr 11 2012

I can tell. :: hug ::

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Liebe
18:45 Apr 11 2012

And you should be. Sadly this happens in the arts a lot. Don't feel bad for taking a stand and speaking out. After all they don't know what you're thinking about unless you tell them.

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Vampirewitch39
20:42 Apr 12 2012

:(

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I just realized how ironic my medical situation is.



I grew up in Florida. Sunshine state.

I move to Minnesota..I develop a problem from lack of Vitamin D.



I need to move back to Florida. -.-

So my blood work came back from the doctors...



There is nothing "wrong".



Well except the fact I'm lacking Vitamin D...

Doctor prescribed something for that.



But everything else is fine.



So we are back to square one in this battle.



*sigh*

My doctors appointment was all sorts of interesting today.



I even have battle scars! This is the crook of my left arm. You can probably see the spot they jabbed me for blood....and the aftermath.







As you can see, I had blood work done.

My doctor went crazy on that lab request. She circled almost everything.



Why?



Well we discussed my weight and the thyroid test from February. One number is up but another one isn't down, meaning there is no real idea as to what is going on. She thinks that I do have a thyroid problem, but it's just now starting to show up. So she had me do blood work for that....She told me that I'll have to have blood work for it every few months. She wants to keep an eye on it.



More about the weight issue! I have no changes in activity level or diet that would cause massive weight gain of over 100 pounds in the past 2 years. My blood pressure was 108/62 and my cholesterol is at 92. While 92 isn't "perfect", it's pretty damn good considering I have a BMI of 42 and have a family history of problems.



She is having me come back and be tested for diabetes.



Overall, before I can lose the weight, we need to find out what is causing it. That is where the holdup is. We have no fucking clue what is going on.



On the sleep thing! It's related to the weight issue. It's also possible that I have Vitamin D problems. She had me tested for that. I never had huge issues with being sleepy all the time when I lived in Florida. Of course, I wasn't medicated either. But it would make a bit of sense.



So my doctors appointment was long, drawn out, and pretty painful. (That was due to the yearly exam of hooah parts)



I was also fricken hungry.



Good thing to come from it? I got told I made a good choice in a vitamin to take. I've been taking Biotin to help with my nails...apparently it helps with depression and energy. Yay!



So more waiting and confusion. I'm so worried about what might be causing these problems.

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Requiem
11:50 Apr 06 2012

It will be well. :: hug :;

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I just heard the neighbors threaten to cook the bird.



I'm guessing he's been going crazy all night and they can't get him to stop.



For those of you that don't know much about my neighbors (most) I have an asshole upstairs who used to stomp in some weird rhythm and make my walls shake. He even managed to knock my Armando Huerta print off the wall. That activity has seemed to stop, for the most part, thanks to a complaint to the office.



Across the way I have this old lady who has a very loud daughter. I have nothing against the lady, but her daughter doesn't know how to be polite. Meaning I've heard her screaming, in her apartment, in my back bedroom. This was at 11pm. Both our door and her door were shut and I could hear her word for word. That stopped after me kindly asking her to quiet down.



But! My favorite neighbors are the ones that make the most noise. They are the ones on the other side of the wall. They are gamers and are awake later in the evening. That isn't a problem. The people are normally quiet.



It's the bird.



They yell at that damn bird to shut up all the time. I can't blame them for the bird, I have never done that. I can actually tune the bird out for the most part.



I also find it funny when they yell at the bird. It's name is Meeko.



I'm amused. :D

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greatness
05:25 Apr 05 2012

fancy neighbors

can i come visit ;D

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PhoenicianDream
15:59 Apr 10 2012

Birds go to sleep when it's dark. If they throw a sheet over the cage, or turn the lights off Meeko should go night night. Yelling... not going to work.

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I have some pretty awesome news to share...and some sad news.



First the sad. I did something I didn't want to do, and withdrew from a class.



Two weeks ago, my History of Food and Culture class started. After last week, I realized I can't work in a kitchen like that. My anxiety is too out of control in that type of environment. In the interest of myself and the safety of others, I dropped the class.



Good news!

I am now the Assistant Copyright Manager for PTE. (the tube company I run events for)



The old managers stepped down last week due to personal issues.



I was asked to night if I wanted the position since I seem to be good at copyright stuff.



So yeah.



:D

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Requiem
12:40 Apr 04 2012

That's awesome. :) I am GLAD you took yourself out of the class - sad but glad. I am pleased you decided to not be in an environment that causes you harm. (Too much anxiety IS harm.)

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Gotta love how fast a doctor will jump to fix a problem when they are going to lose 900 dollars from an insurance company.



I got a call about the stupid CPAP machine. I just can't sleep with it. Plain and simple. I get terrified that I'm going to get wrapped up in that hose so I just can't actually fall asleep all the way. Making my situation about being tired all day, worse.



The sleep doctor was supposed to call me 2 weeks after I got the damn thing. It's been way longer than two weeks.



So they call me finally after I got some automated call last week, telling me that I have 60 days to become compliant with the machine or I'll have to pay out of pocket.



Oh. hell. no.



I flat out told them that I can't use the thing and if that's going to be the case, they can have the fucking thing back.



They are going to get in touch with the doctor to set up an appointment to look into other "options".



Here's an option. My sleep problem came from weight gain. My weight gain came from an undetected thyroid problem. A problem which only came to light because I begged my psych doctor to do the blood work to test for it.



Why don't we get the thyroid problem under control and go from there?



By the way, hypothyroidism causes fatigue and sleepiness. I bet, once that is being taken care of, I won't have many more issues.



At this point in time, I feel smarter than these doctors.



I also know which "option" that idiot doctor is going to use. He wants to give me sleeping pills that will knock me out on my ass so I can sleep with the damn thing. I don't like most medication like that, I will not take them.



Ugh. Doctors suck.

It's bad when an application for a position can leave you having inner turmoil.



The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?



You can't even compare the two. They have both done AMAZING things when it comes to music. It would be unfair to compare them. :(



Inner turmoil D:

So I got that solo (I don't remember if I told ya'll) and I am now faced with the hardest part.



And it's not learning the music. >.>



It's mentally getting ready so I don't get up in front of people and pretty much croak.



I don't get it. I can give a speech or do any sort of public speaking just fine. I can sing with the choir just fine.



Put me alone singing? I'm fucked.



Sadly, this is something I need to get over and fast.



*sigh* Back to practicing.

So our problems have ebbed a bit.



I got 40 dollars in my royalty check today, which helped a lot. My mom is loaning us 20 and his parents brought us some "food".



Problem with the "food" they brought us was that they brought four boxes of death for me (Hamburger Helper has food dye in it) and rice.



I have a 4 pound box of Minute rice. Last thing we need is more rice. o.O



It was the thought that counts? I think?



I still am very pissed off at his parents since all of -this- is their fault for taking him off the insurance policy. If his meds had be covered, we wouldn't have been so screwed. -.-





Meh.

So I've developed this nasty cold sore on my lip (probably from stress) and after doing some googling, the biggest suggestion for cold sores? Acetone.



Now, I have TONS of that. But I was wary of the pain from it.



Gotta say, it worked. I don't know if it was a combo of using milk on it first and then the acetone, or just the acetone.



I notice the swelling went down and it doesn't burn anymore. I've also been icing it off and on. Yay for self treatment!



Also, we have what we call "happy butt paper" now. We used to use semi-cheap toilet paper (Angel Soft) but because the store we went to was out last time, we got Charmin.



My toosh gives it a seal of approval. And we use less o.O



Ok, enough from me!

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Lullaby
06:35 Apr 01 2012

I read in a forum on here that earwax apparently keeps cold sores at bay. O.o

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